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Personal stuff about me...gardenofroses

GARDENING:
I am an avid gardener...almost finished my latest project; a woodland garden using native plants and trees along the north side of my house. I built a wood deck and installed a gazebo...a neighbour friend and I have ongoing gazebo wars to see who has the newest/most interesting feature...including chandeliers.

HOME RENO/DECORATING ETC:
The most current reno jobs are: finishing my new kitchen, nagging hubby to finish bathroom closet, extending the back deck and adding stairs. I do all the work myself...even building walls. Hubby is an engineer, so of course he's pretty useless around here...lol.

CREATIVE ENDEAVORS:
I invented a gag gift called 'FLUSHABLE FUN'. It is a gravestone template that can be personalized for the back of the raised toilet seat with the name and picture of the offending ex-spouse, evil boss, hated neighbour, cheating boyfriend/girlfriend. There are also 'flushable floaters' bearing an image of the 'EVIL ONE' that can float in the bowl...READY, AIM, FIRE! If anyone wants to buy one, just let me know and I'll send the information. There is the cheap generic one, and a more costly computer-generated personalized one using your pics. Copyrighted, of course.
*See pic of toilet etc. on the left.

I plan to write a book one day...whenever I can get my life tidied up a bit. Naturally, it will be some kind of spooky crime fiction story incorporating many of my idiosyncracies and OCD behaviours...lol. It takes place at a B & B in Northern Ontario. I've already got my characters and general outline started.


A PEEK INTO MY MIND:
I have some pretty weird idiosyncracies that are probably shared to some extent by all of you:

*I wash my hands frequently because I can visualize the germs multiplying like mad and am afraid I may accidentally eat some of them.

*My car is a total mess because ... *Insert any excuse here*.

*I must have my feet on the bed and covered when I go to bed because the monster that lives under there might try to grab them, thereby giving me a heart attack.

*I rush down open-back staircases because something will make a grab at my ankles and trip me up...probably the monster who lives under the stairs.

*I always keep one eye open in the shower in case a knife-wielding psycho rips open the shower curtain and attacks me. Yes, I saw the movie 'Psycho'.

*When in the bathroom, I always rip open the shower curtain to make sure a knife-wielding fiend is not standing in the tub waiting to attack me. 'Psycho" again.

*I'm terrified of the water...lakes, rivers, bathtub with bubbles, pools...because there is something in the water I can't see that is going to bite me...alligators, pirranha, baracuda, sharks, big bugs, snapping turtles, snakes et cetera. Yes, I saw 'Jaws', 'Anaconda', 'In The Water', and every other scary fish/enormous animal movie there is.

*Although I try very hard to keep the top of the knife clean when getting peanut butter and mayonnaise out of the jar, it always gets on the knife handle anyway, and on me...I hate that.

*When entering a dark room, I get that little surge of fear and slap wildly at the wall to find the light switch before something reaches out of the dark and grabs me.

*I always open up my sandwiches in restaurants and examine them to make sure nothing 'extra' has been added...ditto pizza. I once found a baked-on spider on my pizza. My mother tells me I examine ALL my food...thought no one noticed this. Note to Self: Try to be more subtle.

*I make sure closet doors are closed before going to bed or else I can't sleep. For sure there are monsters in there waiting for me to drift off before they slink out in the dark and attack me.

*I won't go out in my yard after dark...because it is dark. *Insert most horrific fear here.*

*If I have to get into my car after dark, I always rush to get my feet inside in case something laying in wait underneath tries to bite or grab me. Bruised ankles don't stop this behaviour.

*When on the toilet, I fear that a sewer rat or snake is going to come up under me and bite me. Ditto for outhouses, but more so.

*When taking a drink from a cup or glass, I always check to make sure there are no spiders walking on it, or floating in it. I once found a dead spider in my kettle, and once saw a spider walking around the rim of my glass.

*I don't like eating outside because bugs always end up on or in my food and I'm afraid of eating them...especially earwigs.

*I NEVER eat the dip at a party where there are children...the double-dipping little freaks. I also keep an eye on the adults...there is always one clueless clown who double-dips, but swears he/she took a 'clean' bite...no lips...yeah, right. Ditto for chocolate fountains and punch fountains.

*I will NOT eat squashed bread.

*I love oatmeal, even though it is good for me, and butter, even though it is not.

*I MUST have my own tube of toothpaste. The thought of using a communal tube, being touched by other people's germy toothbrushes, turns my stomach. Ditto for bottles of mouthwash. I just KNOW there are folks who take a swig right from the bottle, even though there is a paper cup supply RIGHT THERE. I don't care that these folks are family members...it is still germy and disgusting.

*There are lots more, but I think you all get the gist.

GARDENING, of course
Reading
ebaying
dogs and other pets
kayaking
swimming in my pool (or at a beach if there are a lot of other potential victims)
anything really funny

self

Editor of fiction manuscripts, ebay seller

Taken

2

Friends
Networking

Dirty Love,
First Wives Club
The Birdcage
The Edge
Silence of the Lambs
Red Dragon

House
Ugly Betty
Reno shows
Judges Judy, Joe Brown, Alex Ferrer
don't watch much TV

Ice Station
Rebecca
anything by E.A.Poe
Police/Crime fiction in general